If You Don’t Have Anything Nice To Say

I was just reading a blog that I follow, and there was some ignorant things posted to her on a different post. UHG… I have to wonder why people get so ignorant on the net? I’d like to have a face to face debate with some of these downers. I too have had mean ignorant things posted to me, and usually, it a few words and utter nonsense! I often want to post back, but I don’t get into playing tag with people I don’t like. The words just get under your skin. It must be their way of getting attention. Putting out the bait, and hoping they hook you good.

A Mighty Shield

Am I too old? Do people never here the etiquette phrase ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all’? Do they not teach this at home, in kindergarten, all your life? If any body commented to my face, well then, I’m gonna speak my mind. People on the net are cowards. I’d love to run into just one person who was ignorant, and confront them about it.

Judgement? Where are all these people coming from that feel that they are above anybody else? Can you say vain? It’s not very pretty, and if you want to be vain in my face, I just may pick at your flaws and make you look ugly. The internet is a mighty shield for ignorant ranters! If you don’t like something I posted, can’t you just go on your merry way somewhere else? Only the judgmental, ignorant people feel the need to express their obscene opinions. They are bullies, which tends to make me feel they are neglected underachievers lashing out at random unknowns. They have their mighty shields to hide behind.

So I just would like this phrase taken seriously: ‘ If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all’. For those of you who do not follow this etiquette, hide behind your internet shield. I however will use my defense, it’s called DELETE!

 

Time of Sadness-My Poetry

At this moment, I feel sole despair,

a time of sadness

Thoughts I fell unable to repair,

I can’t fight those negatives bound to me,

All I want is to be free,

The tears stream down my tired face,

I need so much a happy place,

I’ve committed myself to lifelong vows,

It’s not time yet to take a bow,

In the meantime, I hide how I feel,

I have to be strong, they believe I’m steel,

I have to fight to keep my strength,

In the end there will be some thanks,

Not from others, but to myself,

For leaning on God and sharing his wealth.

 

I Was A Cat Lady

I have always been a huge animal lover. When I was young, we had the family pet dog, and even a cat. Animals were not for our home, due to my Father’s bad allergies. The cat came to be, because my Father fell in love with it, and decided to suffer the consequences. Those were family pets. I really didn’t have my own connection, so I had rodent animals, which I loved dearly.

When I met my Husband, I finally got to get my own dog. Any kind I wanted, except a Pug. For some reason he can’t stand Pugs. I, on the other hand, think they’re adorable. My Husband also despised cats, he also suffers with bad allergies, so a cat was just out of the question. My choice for a dog, was a 8wk old Miniature Pincer. She was also a runt, so she was even smaller than the average Pincer. She fit in the palm of our hands, and became my baby. Guess what I named her? Baby! Loved her all her 16 yrs, and she was loyal to ME.

When we moved to a farmhouse in Minnesota, that’s when we got our first cat. Being such an animal lover, there was a feral cat that we slowly made friends with. It took a couple of years. In the meantime, my Husband was always out doing some kind of project, and I guess for a couple days, he heard tiny cries of a kitten. My Husband does have a heart! He grabbed our youngest daughter, and had her climb over a heap of junk and boarding, to get to an old fashioned tall milk can. Inside was a tiny, black kitten, hungry for it’s mommy’s milk. My husband didn’t want to see a defenseless animal die a tragic death.

Scout & Binky(Binky on right has been adopted)

Inside came kitty. We got the evaporated milk and a eye dropper, and started feeding the tiny fur ball of cuteness. My Husband had only one rule, we had to find the kitten a home. My parents were coming out to visit for Christmas, and was interested in taking the cat. My Mom named the new addition, Abby. When Christmas rolled around, Abby was already weaned, and ready for a trip to Illinois. My Mom changed her mind, and we also learned that Abby was vicious to strangers. By that time, all us girls were in love with Abby, and even though he wanted to deny it, my Husband had some affection towards her, also.

If you have ever lived on a farm, you know feral cats are a dime a dozen. After 8 yrs, I had quite the collection of cats. In all seriousness, I became a hoarder. I loved them all, and felt the responsibility to care for them. That’s what they grew accustomed to. I did get in touch with my local Humane Society, and told them of my troubles. All the cats were spayed/neutered, had all there shots, and were ready for adoption. It wasn’t a fast process, as I had to wait for openings at a NO-KILL shelter. When I was moving, the process was stepped up. If I would have left them behind, I KNEW the land lord would kill them.

I still have my cats that I had to pick. I cry to this day thinking of all the cats and their friendliness, and loyalty, but I know they are in good homes. And the ones I have now, I remind them they were chosen, when they are being bad. I see strays, but I can’t let myself get in that position again. Trust me, Shannon is always finding something that needs a loving home.

I am thankful for the cats that I still have. And the old lady Abby is still with us. The ironic part about Abby, is that my Husband adores her. He adores the others, but Abby can do no wrong! I would like to strongly suggest that if you are in the market looking for a pet, PLEASE ADOPT! These animals will show you such loyalty! And, they all need love. WE all need love.

Abby Today

Entertaining The Sick

Well folks, not only do I have a little something, but my funny !5 yr old daughter is sick. She so hates getting sick on a weekend. I feel for her, but I feel for myself too. I’ve been proclaimed her entertainment. A small job for a Mom taking care of a sick teenager, but it does keep me limited on what I want to do.

There are cartoons that she enjoys, and I have to admit, I enjoy them also. Enough, that I have them set on DVR, because they’re on so late. Since they are Adult Swim, and only my t.v. has the recordings, we watch them together. This is good. I am the parental guidance to determine whether something is inappropriate for my teen. Also, great opportunity to bring up morals, and what is right and wrong. Things I expect from her as a mother.

Our favorite cartoon is Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I even like the opening credits music. So that is what I’m going to do for the majority of the day, or until my teen becomes bored of me! At least it’s a fun way to take care of the sick. Meatwod is my Favorite!

This episode is TV MA: Not 18? No watching!

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BEDTIME

The night so calming, with all the lights off,

The fresh evening air wafts so gently and soft,

Soft glowing streetlights faintly break through the darkness,

Feelings of security strip the dark of its starkness,

I lay in my bed, comforting pillows and quilt,

Relaxing my mind, the harsh busy day wilts,

Humming from the fan breaks the motionless silence,

The television off, no excitement or violence,

The cats are curled up, snuggled close to keep warm,

All of us tucked in, as if preparing for storms,

Our eyes are all closed, and our breaths become slow,

Together in the darkness with the warm outside glow,

Minds are at peace and drifting to bliss,

Awakened in the morning by my little girls kiss.

Flip-Floppin In My Head

I’ve mentioned before I have a passion for writing. My biggest goal was to write a novel. I started that novel, pen and paper, and lots of thoughts. Then I found WordPress, and thought ‘here’s my medium’. But I’ve been holding back. First I decide to start putting excerpts as part of my Blog, then I think ‘maybe not’. Flip-floppin is what my thoughts are doing.

Why am I flip-floppin, you might ask? Fear. That’s the only thing holding me back. Finishing my book would be one of my very own achievements, say, one checked off my ‘Bucket-List‘. Now I could achieve this, and keep it private, but it’s not a personal journal, it’s a pure fiction story. I want to share it. My fear is holding me back.

The fear is that others may not like it. Why should I care? I just do, it’s in my nature. My Husband is always saying, “Who cares what anybody else thinks, they can think what they want.” But I care. I care about what other people think. I’m extremely sensitive, and I have to learn to be strong when it is appropriate to do so. Not everybody is going to be interested in what I write, I know that, but I’m afraid of those people.

The fear exists in my head, and I’m doing battle with it. There are some heavy hitters out there. There is also those people who take joy in bringing others down. There’s constructive criticism, and there’s scolding. Unsympathetic comments, and just plain mean comments. No one wants to feel as if they wasted someones time, or demeaned. So I grapple everyday with which path I should take.

Not everything is going to be pleasant. Am I ready for the war in my head? I think I am, but I fear it.

 

Facebook

I’ve heard a lot of people slam Facebook, saying things like ‘finding old friends is just a waste of time’, ‘They’re not really FRIENDS’…ect…I guess I got lucky on Facebook. I’ve conversed with many that I hadn’t in My SunshineHigh school. Very meaningful conversations too. Lot’s of support. You know how you find your soul-mate when you get married? Well, through Facebook, I found a soul mate friend!

I’ve found many friends through Facebook, but there is just one that was meant to be. I know it sounds mushy and corny, but I truly love this friend that I haven’t seen since I was about 12. I can’t remember how we exactly found each other, but I do know what a tremendous connection we made.

It was nothing forced, it just came to be. She bought such light into my life, just through posts and e-mails. I would trust this person with my life. WHAT? Someone I haven’t seen in a million years? Trust and Love? My answer is most definitely YES.

I know it may be hard for some to digest, but it is my truth. I would have never expected something so wonderful. I would question if it was even possible for me, but she is my Sunshine. On any day, she’s with me through my happiness and turmoil. Everyday, I am with her through her happiness and turmoil. We just have a heaven sent bond. It happened naturally, and I welcomed that bond with open arms.

All through a social network. Doesn’t sound real, but it is. It’s part of my truths revealed.

I’ve Forgiven

Many things in my life have happened, that filled me with rage. I carried this rage along with me everywhere I went. I didn’t show it, but I felt it! Irritation, impatience, judging, insecure, vulnerable, weak. Weak? Yes, even if you’re filled with rage, it is just a sign of your weakness.

I’ve had a few moments I’m not proud of. Actually, they left me feeling very embarrassed. You can’t turn back time. I felt justified, I just didn’t feel I handled certain situations in a correct manner. I always felt guarded and under attack. My reaction? Be prepared to fight back.

Now, I don’t know what happened. I grew older, wiser, had children to set a better example for? I don’t know, but my attitude completely changed, and I didn’t have such outbursts. Occasionally, I would have marital outbursts, when I believed I wasn’t being heard by my spouse. Those did absolutely no good at all. I just seemed like a guard dog.

I’ve always have been a Christian. I prayed occasionally, and I knew that Jesus Christ was my Savior. But what I was missing, was a relationship with Christ. My relationship started when I was becoming very sick (physically), and emotionally. Life was getting unbearable, and I could no longer fight back. I physically felt like a piece of paper that someone crumpled up and threw in a wastebasket. Seriously, the crumpled paper was a great representation, of how my body felt.

Jesus was always there. I prayed for mercy, and forgiveness, and worked daily to repent. I also had to REALLY forgive some people, that did some really horrible things. I knew I couldn’t fake forgiveness, the Lord would know. So I dug down deep in my soul, and truly forgave all that I felt hurt me really bad.

After that step, I really felt that my prayers could be heard. I am a living testament to the power of the Lord to answer prayers. Now, My body isn’t better, but I have learned to tolerate and enjoy the things that I do have. My cup is never half empty, but always half full! I do not judge, it is not my place. I have opinions, but no true judgement. Just forgiving and not judging, have lifted such a huge weight on my shoulder’s.

I’m at peace. When I’m not, I pray, and get my peace back. I have to give my Daughter Danielle, and her Husband, my Son-in-Law, credit for giving me great guidance! And compassion, understanding, and very much LOVE. I thank you two. I know I keep saying it, But I’m so proud of where you are in life Danielle. I know I helped get you there, but then encouraged me to find peace.

May God bless you all!