I’m Feeling Pink

I’ve been in such positive spirits! I’m feeling very Pink! So for you pleasure, Here is Aerosmith : Pink. And it is my favorite color!

 

Too Funny! (mature content)

I was just watching the trailer for Andy SambergĀ  and Adam Sandlers movie! I have to see this, It looks hilarious. There is Mature content in this video, so please, If you are easily offended or under 18, you may not watch! For those of you who find this humorous, I’m glad you enjoyed as much as I did! :)

 

Trouble

I have been having much trouble trying to keep up with blogs and posting. My site here keeps giving me problems. I am not very computer literate, and learn by trial and error. This obviously makes for very frustrated moments. All very time consuming, winding up leaving me worse than before. Then I just shut down the computer, at a loss of what to do next.

I claim to be backwards, because I am. In case anyone has been wondering. I even have a hard time clicking the like button on another bloggers page. Don’t think I am not reading, I do, but my account will not let me complete the tasks I want. Hopefully, I will get this fixed!

No Use Crying Over Spilled Milk

Crying emoticon

Crying emoticon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yesterday was too busy of a day. I spoke my mind, not so kindly, and received a barrage of complaints from some bloggers. I went out of my way, to profusely apologize, to no avail of the person I targeted. This person had re-blogged a post, that I completely disagreed with. Next the original poster had to come to his defense. After much time posting and apologizing, the re-blogger had nothing to say. Instead, I had to converse through his adviser, the original blogger.

I believe in the freedom of speech. This particular person kept saying he wasn’t the original writer to the post, that they only re-blogged. This got me thinking even more. If you re-blog something, it means you agree with it. Furthermore, I had to do the educational battle with the original poster. As pleasing as she made her resume seem, I still don’t agree with her theory, completely subjective, her own quote. I feel I bent over backwards for hurting someones feelings, and still no response.

I’m not going to agree with something I truly believe is quite wrong. I have much education in the medical field as well, and while being subjective, I find the information posted, is very misleading to those who suffer with fibromyalgia. Pain gets me down, not the other way around. I do not have flare-ups because I’m feeling down, I have flare-ups from over doing what my body can tolerate. If people want to believe the theory that psychosomatic issues bring on pain, then by all means go for it. I for one find it quite absurd. That’s my subjective opinion.

I will not again, go out of my way to kiss someones ass, because we disagree. It was a complete waste of my time. Find your inspiration where you may, but don’t be misleading on causes of fibromyalgia. If you want to re-blog a post, stand behind it, and don’t sig your Professionals(using that term loosely) to fight your battles. I may have disagreed by lashing out, but guess what? I disagreed. Let’s not cry over spilled milk.

I have gotten this off my chest. Life isn’t fair, and people agree to disagree. You could have walked away from the battle, but chose to continue it, as did I, by trying to be heartfelt and nice. In the end I still disagree with the blog post, and being nice led nowhere. Why you ask? Because I have the freedom and education on my syndrome to post what I believe. I am disappointed in myself for not debating on the issue to my satisfaction. Next time, I will debate. Sometimes you just have to stand up for what you believe in. I believe much differently from some other theories presented on the causes of fibromyalgia. It is a syndrome, that still is in debate, and has not been proved. Fibromyalgia has inconclusive evidence to suggest it is in the mind, and you can control it simply by being positive. This is a musculoskeletal disorder, a connective tissue disorder. So let’s just agree to disagree.

Wishlist

I’m on a pearl Jam kick right now, probably because, I think my daughter still has my CDs! This is another beautifully written song. Sit back and enjoy, it’s very peaceful! Good Night All!

 

Heart

Hearts are very vulnerable in such a tough world. I would like to share a Pearl Jam song with lyrics. What I like to call Music poetry! This song is called Elderly Woman Behind the Counter. The words are absolutely amazing! I hope you take the time to listen to this very Poetic Song! Please Enjoy!


Down

Yesterday’s post got me thinking. Is the honesty I’m sharing too much? Should there be things I just keep to myself? Could this be an embarrassment to my family? Is the eye in the sky,(government), keeping tabs on what I write? Who is assessing my information? Do I care?

Yes, I do care. If I am one thing, it’s honest. I’m very bad at lying. I feel it’s written all over my face, that’s one reason I don’t lie. Even though you can’t see my face as I type on this laptop, it’s not in my heart to lie. You were right Terry, it was a very emotional post. Things I did, that I’m not to proud of, but made me into a better person. Taught me compassion, truth, and how to proceed with life, even though there is a new lesson everyday.

Today I am just feeling really down, and trying to re-group myself. My family does not know about my page, and they all refuse Facebook, because they want to remain private. I don’t understand why I am so open to share. Frankly, I’m starting to question if I should be so open with the public. Skeleton’s in my closet? I want to rid them. I don’t allow them to haunt me, at least I try not to. So, by writing about them, they disappear. Well kind of. They are just released.

There are many that will pass judgement on me, I know. I don’t believe I have the right to judge anyone, that’s not my job here on earth. Now, I’m in this funk, wondering if I share too much…….

Please enjoy this tune by Van Halen with David Lee Roth in Me Wise Magic:

My Past

I try not to go back to the past often, but some people don’t realize what type of trap I had gotten myself into. He was my very first ‘real’ relationship. He was a bad boy, but at the time, I didn’t know how bad. I was in love. My parents did not approve, so when I tuned 18, I took off. You know, hey I’m a big girl, you can’t tell me what to do anymore.

As time passed, I was slowly being manipulated and corrupted. I was very naive, despite what others may have thought. I fell hook, line, and sinker into toxicity. Living in my car, abandoned sheds, closets of friends and even sometimes freezing in a stairwell with below freezing temperatures.

My parents were so disgusted with my actions. I was in a horrible situation, and I thought it was love. It was love on my part, but I don’t believe my partner knew what true love was. I was mentally abused, and a couple of times hit. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m a fighter, normally I would not allow myself to be abused, but I was under his corrupt spell.

Drug use was hidden from me. He always said he wouldn’t stick a needle in his arm, but eventually he did. I didn’t know the first thing about these types of drugs, and refused to even think about trying them. I watched him fall, and he took me with him. I was pregnant with his baby, and his corruption landed me on the other side of the law.

No one came to save me as I sat in a county jail for a month. I had made my bed, and now i had to lie in it. It was horrible, although the jail was like a hotel. If I had been placed in Cook counties jail, in Chicago, I’m most certain I would have been chewed up and spit out. Instead I was in the County Jail in a richer county. Not too many women there. A lot from Cook county, who chose to commit crimes in our jurisdiction. I was very scared, but had to play it cool.

I really wasn’t the one the prosecutors were after. They were after my lover. Call me a rat, but I sang like a bird to give them everything they needed for a conviction. After all it was him who got me to where I was. He got convicted and I got released. I had nowhere to go, and I was pregnant.

My parents took mercy upon me, and their future grandchild, and let me back home to have my baby, and re-start my life. The greatest gift my parents allowed me to cherish. Many of my so-called friends chose my boyfriend over me, and took the same path as him. This did upset me, but when I look back now, they all became junkies. I did not, and had learned a very good lesson about breaking the law.

My daughter never was able to meet her father. I was so filled with anger, that although she had his last name, she was mine. I knew he was still a junkie through gossip, and at one point he was on his deathbed and I received a call letting me know. Unfortunately at the time, my reaction was “call me when the death certificate is signed.” Doesn’t seem very Christian, but I was still filled with hate. He recovered, but later died from an overdose. He also had brain damage from his first incident of facing the Grimm Reaper.

Sometimes I’m sad that my daughter doesn’t even have a picture. I had burned everything of him at 19 with my anger. I had a new relationship, and I didn’t want to look back. I’ve never used a needle but my boyfriend did, and his life was destroyed. I’ve included a song By Megadeth called use the man. I’ve seen this, although at the time I didn’t realize what was going on. There is no bad words, but some real honesty in this song. Please listen.

red X

Let Me Introduce You

Let me introduce you to an amazing band from Florida! They are called : Red X ! I’ve heard some amazing MP3′s of their dedicated talent! Clean, exciting, and blessed with extreme musical talent. Writing, singing, and instrumental, is the greatest delight to my ears! They are dedicated musicians, who have been entertaining many! I want them to entertain the whole world.

Please go check out their site by clicking on the photo, or link below. You won’t be disappointed! You can also check out their Facebook page :https://www.facebook.com/REDXBAND

red X

Red X Band