No Use Crying Over Spilled Milk

Crying emoticon

Crying emoticon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yesterday was too busy of a day. I spoke my mind, not so kindly, and received a barrage of complaints from some bloggers. I went out of my way, to profusely apologize, to no avail of the person I targeted. This person had re-blogged a post, that I completely disagreed with. Next the original poster had to come to his defense. After much time posting and apologizing, the re-blogger had nothing to say. Instead, I had to converse through his adviser, the original blogger.

I believe in the freedom of speech. This particular person kept saying he wasn’t the original writer to the post, that they only re-blogged. This got me thinking even more. If you re-blog something, it means you agree with it. Furthermore, I had to do the educational battle with the original poster. As pleasing as she made her resume seem, I still don’t agree with her theory, completely subjective, her own quote. I feel I bent over backwards for hurting someones feelings, and still no response.

I’m not going to agree with something I truly believe is quite wrong. I have much education in the medical field as well, and while being subjective, I find the information posted, is very misleading to those who suffer with fibromyalgia. Pain gets me down, not the other way around. I do not have flare-ups because I’m feeling down, I have flare-ups from over doing what my body can tolerate. If people want to believe the theory that psychosomatic issues bring on pain, then by all means go for it. I for one find it quite absurd. That’s my subjective opinion.

I will not again, go out of my way to kiss someones ass, because we disagree. It was a complete waste of my time. Find your inspiration where you may, but don’t be misleading on causes of fibromyalgia. If you want to re-blog a post, stand behind it, and don’t sig your Professionals(using that term loosely) to fight your battles. I may have disagreed by lashing out, but guess what? I disagreed. Let’s not cry over spilled milk.

I have gotten this off my chest. Life isn’t fair, and people agree to disagree. You could have walked away from the battle, but chose to continue it, as did I, by trying to be heartfelt and nice. In the end I still disagree with the blog post, and being nice led nowhere. Why you ask? Because I have the freedom and education on my syndrome to post what I believe. I am disappointed in myself for not debating on the issue to my satisfaction. Next time, I will debate. Sometimes you just have to stand up for what you believe in. I believe much differently from some other theories presented on the causes of fibromyalgia. It is a syndrome, that still is in debate, and has not been proved. Fibromyalgia has inconclusive evidence to suggest it is in the mind, and you can control it simply by being positive. This is a musculoskeletal disorder, a connective tissue disorder. So let’s just agree to disagree.

Too Much

I just wanted you all to know, that I will be taking a break from the net. I’ve been experiencing the most horrible pain. I think it’s time to find a new doctor, who can truly figure out what is going on. If this is just Chronic Pain Syndrome, and Severe Fibromyalgia, then I will accept that. For some strange reason I feel there is more to the pain I am experiencing. I refuse to take the meds. My kidneys will not keep handling them well.

I don’t want all you wonderful people to wonder what happened to me. I can’t keep staying up till all hours of the night, unable to sleep, because the pain is so severe.

I promise to be back, but I have to re-group myself at this time. Much love to you all!

 

Should I or Shouldn’t I ?

My fight with fibromyalgia, will always be there. I have finally accepted that. My case is severe, at times leaving me nearly bed-ridden. I stopped taking the narcotics prescribed to me. I still suffered just as much with the medication. So, why take it?

« il faut continuer, je ne peux pas continuer,...

« il faut continuer, je ne peux pas continuer, je vais continuer » (Photo credit: ckaiserca)

I do take Lyrica, 3 times a day. 300 milligrams total. I do believe that is the highest dosage you can take. I still suffer with pain, but I fight it as much as possible.

My question is, should I start weaning myself off the lyrica too?

I’m a bit afraid to. I’m afraid of even more pain onset. Maybe too much pain. Any suggestions on what I should do?

Fibro Fog

ibuprofen

ibuprofen (Photo credit: cncphotos)

A mist clouds my brain.

I rub my eyes

I’m feeling the pain.

My body is aching.

I notice this

Again it is breaking.

Limbs are taking me over.

A flare-up again

I am the Queen Pain loather.

I gave in to Ibuprofen.

Destroy kidneys some more

It happens way too often.

Keep rubbing out the pain.

I do that a lot

Feels good but is back again.

Fibromyalgia! It sucks to know you.

Just keeps on abusing me

You’re brutal! It makes me blue.

Scratchy

No, this morning as I’m waking up, I’ve been plagued, with the scratchy eye! The worst thing I hate in the morning. I actually got to sleep in, yet, I feel as if I’ve had no sleep.

A photo of a cup of coffee. Esperanto: Taso de...

A photo of a cup of coffee. Esperanto: Taso de kafo. Français : Photo d'une tasse de caffé Español: Taza de café (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Morning coffee is brewed, I just cannot drink my coffee fast. I really need a boost, especially if my eyes are going to be bothersome. I hate eye drops, it feels as if you are putting a nice drop of dish soap in your eye. I don’t have any either way. My eyes must look as if I haven’t had slept in a week. I thought I slept pretty good, I can’t remember. That comment makes me laugh. No dreams I recall.

I’ve drunk 1/3 cup of coffee. I haven’t even checked my blood sugars yet. This is irritating. My eyes will be this way all day. I don’t even want to put my glasses on. And I’ll probably get a call for help today. Yesterday was mine, all mine. Except for the cleaning chores, of course.

I also woke up to cat puke on the carpet, and on the couch. Fun times I’m having here. Only I can stomach cleaning those messes in my family, or so THEY say. Someones has to clean it up. Mom, yes, mom will do it, she always does. Just like the dishes, and the toilet, and the mopping, ect…….

So that’s my day so far. I’m trying to escape to my big world of WordPress, with little energy, but I’m trying, and that’s what counts. So how is your day today?

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My Progress 3

This is really good. I am so excited, because I used not one pain pill yesterday. I was really worried about the night time, because I was hurting really bad. But, I got through it, and was very happy. I do still take my Lyrica 3 times a day, but it is non-narcotic!

I’m still experiencing pain, but I’m just barely tolerating it with the Lyrica. I had a All my medsheadache today, and even refused to take ibuprofen. Ibuprofen does a number on my kidneys, and as stated in earlier posts, I have chronic kidney disease. I’m also experiencing feeling like I’m coming down with a bad cold. Nothing to mask the symptoms anymore. And now, I will walk around feeling as if I’m coming down with the flu. I’m not, but besides the pain, I always feel sick. Lastly, I am so tired. I’ve been getting normal hours of sleep, and am glad that I wake up earlier than noon!

My family, here at home, just does not identify with what I’m going through. It hurts my feelings really bad. I have this amazing goal, but I don’t think they understand that I’m still adjusting. I’m too young to become an addict. Pain pills for many, lead to abuse and dependence. Then they are faced with having to go through methadone treatment. No, not me. Not gonna happen. However, Even though I followed my prescribed treatment, I will am and having withdrawl symptoms. That is why I have not stopped taking my Lyrica yet. My family at HOME doesn’t understand. Hopefully, they will notice changes that are happening, and not going away! If they don’t adjust themselves, I just don’t know what to say to that. To end this, I pray and hope that tonight is as good as yesterday! Love you all!

Starting Change

So, since I have ranted about being sick of taking pain pills, I’ve started weening myself off! YAY! Now, I’ve had people comment, ‘Don’t stop taking them, it’ll kill you’! My thoughts? I’m not taking one pain pill, till I can’t stand the pain. If that means I’ve cut them out almost 75%, than so be it. I figure that only God knows when it’s my time to go.

I have pain now, but just taking a pill is only putting a band-aid on. Actually, its more like ingesting poison. I want my life back dammit, I’m taking it back, and right now I’m keeping really strong!

I know when people comment about there worries of me not taking my medication, it is because they have a genuine concern. But, I’m like a Hippie. That is just nonsense to me. I know my body, and how it feels. I’m just stubborn that way. Say what you will, but I know what’s right for me.

So, on a positive note, I’m moving along, and no longer stuck in a stale-mate. I know there will be harder days than others, so I need to thrive on positivity! Even though I was so down last night, how ironic of me! But it is now yet another day!

My cat spilled water all over my cell phone, my bodies aching, yet, I’m still in a good mood. If I was on my meds, I don’t think I’d be in a good mood. Now that to me is some positivity.

God is listening to me and Jesus is keeping his compassion with me. I couldn’t be in a better place for this journey I’m on right now.