Testimony

prayer..

prayer.. (Photo credit: aronki)

As you can see, I am on the net. Whoo- Hoo! Don’t have much time, so I have to share a poem based on my true story. It is written simply, no scholarly attempt to complicate the message I have for all. I Hope you all feel this in your hearts!

 

                                                                       TESTIMONY

Words spoken to my ears,

Bringing anger, sadness and torrential tears.

Anger burst, my heart, was now pierced,

A blow most shattering, cruel and fierce.

Blades and pills ran amuck in my mood,

The devil telling me my worth was no good.

Painful tugs in hearts and souls,

Hurtful words to break my goal.

I prayed, my Lord, To forgive my urge,

I prayed to Jesus, to help me purge.

Lonely, unwanted, the darkest of time,

The Devil still clinging so hard to my mind.

A knock at the door, I welcomed in desperation,

A kind Christian heart to explain my salvation.

The Lord had spoken, for him to come to me,

My God heard my prayers, thus lifting me.

The Devil was gone, he had lost his fight,

My Savior made known his presence that night.

Surrounding my heart, came the calm, so deep,

The Lord had granted me unburdened  sleep.

 

red X

Let Me Introduce You

Let me introduce you to an amazing band from Florida! They are called : Red X ! I’ve heard some amazing MP3’s of their dedicated talent! Clean, exciting, and blessed with extreme musical talent. Writing, singing, and instrumental, is the greatest delight to my ears! They are dedicated musicians, who have been entertaining many! I want them to entertain the whole world.

Please go check out their site by clicking on the photo, or link below. You won’t be disappointed! You can also check out their Facebook page :https://www.facebook.com/REDXBAND

red X

Red X Band

What It Means To Me

My site here at WordPress, is my personal therapist. I have shared things, without hesitation, because I feel freedom!  An ability to say how I feel, share my heart, and mostly, seeing how many beautiful people this world holds.

WordPress Logo

WordPress Logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My site is called backwards222, because I get very unorganized. My mind rarely shuts off, so random thoughts just keep popping up. So it is really a mixture of all my thoughts as they randomly appear. So I consider my site backwards.

I receive many warm thoughts, laughter, caring and sharing, for opening my heart, and letting it all go. You can never have too much love in your life. Even suffering pain will not keep me from my happy place, WordPress. When people say they wish they could somehow help me, I think to myself, they are, just because they care.

I may have limitations physically, but my heart and faith, keeps me moving along the best I can. My friends, and I do mean friends, even if we never actually met physically, keep my soul afire. I thank you all.

I have a video of Journey performing live, Wheel In The Sky, it’s a lovely piece, so I hope you watch and enjoy this. And once again, thank you, my dear friends!

Stand Up

Stand up all my beautiful followers. Be brave. Express yourself. What I am really trying to say, is don’t let anybody keep you down. Feel your spirit. Feel your freedom. I’m from the U.S.A, and i believe in the freedom of speech. Don’t be silenced! Have free will. It was given as a gift.

freedom of speech in west

freedom of speech in west (Photo credit: iranian cartoonist)

If someone doesn’t like something, they don’t have to listen. Choice. It’s an extremely special privilege! Use it. They will try to take it away! Grasp it now, and hold on tight, don’t let it go! That’s why I posted no excuses. I have a voice and the freedom of speech! I’m going to grasp on to that privilege even harder! Why? It set’s me FREE!

Free therapy everyone! Speak up, you have that choice. Agree, disagree, it’s your freedom!

My Easter Grandchild!

Okay folks, please meet my first grandchild, born yesterday, on Easter Sunday! I’m so happy to introduce Elliana Kay!

I’m so in love!

I HAD TO!

I was planning on celebrating Jesus and not getting on the net! What am I doing? I’m sure I’ll be forgiven! My daughter’s water broke at 2 a.m. At 3:30, I got the update, and that everything was good, and she was all set up in her room. Her contractions are at 20 min apart at this time 12:00 noon.

Maybe a special Easter delivery And because I’m on the net, I had to choose my music to listen too. Korn was in, but that wasn’t appropriate for the occasion! So I chose RHCP (Red Hot Chili Peppers)! Stadium Arcadium! Had to Listen to Dani California! Her name is Danni, and her mom is kind of a tough Hippie.

ENJOY!

Gallery

My Sunshine

This gallery contains 1 photo.

I often talk about this one particular person, I call Sunshine! I met her in grammar school, and we became friends. The connection was lost for quite some time. We hung out with different crowds, and just seemed to drift … Continue reading

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My Progress 3

This is really good. I am so excited, because I used not one pain pill yesterday. I was really worried about the night time, because I was hurting really bad. But, I got through it, and was very happy. I do still take my Lyrica 3 times a day, but it is non-narcotic!

I’m still experiencing pain, but I’m just barely tolerating it with the Lyrica. I had a All my medsheadache today, and even refused to take ibuprofen. Ibuprofen does a number on my kidneys, and as stated in earlier posts, I have chronic kidney disease. I’m also experiencing feeling like I’m coming down with a bad cold. Nothing to mask the symptoms anymore. And now, I will walk around feeling as if I’m coming down with the flu. I’m not, but besides the pain, I always feel sick. Lastly, I am so tired. I’ve been getting normal hours of sleep, and am glad that I wake up earlier than noon!

My family, here at home, just does not identify with what I’m going through. It hurts my feelings really bad. I have this amazing goal, but I don’t think they understand that I’m still adjusting. I’m too young to become an addict. Pain pills for many, lead to abuse and dependence. Then they are faced with having to go through methadone treatment. No, not me. Not gonna happen. However, Even though I followed my prescribed treatment, I will am and having withdrawl symptoms. That is why I have not stopped taking my Lyrica yet. My family at HOME doesn’t understand. Hopefully, they will notice changes that are happening, and not going away! If they don’t adjust themselves, I just don’t know what to say to that. To end this, I pray and hope that tonight is as good as yesterday! Love you all!

Starting Change

So, since I have ranted about being sick of taking pain pills, I’ve started weening myself off! YAY! Now, I’ve had people comment, ‘Don’t stop taking them, it’ll kill you’! My thoughts? I’m not taking one pain pill, till I can’t stand the pain. If that means I’ve cut them out almost 75%, than so be it. I figure that only God knows when it’s my time to go.

I have pain now, but just taking a pill is only putting a band-aid on. Actually, its more like ingesting poison. I want my life back dammit, I’m taking it back, and right now I’m keeping really strong!

I know when people comment about there worries of me not taking my medication, it is because they have a genuine concern. But, I’m like a Hippie. That is just nonsense to me. I know my body, and how it feels. I’m just stubborn that way. Say what you will, but I know what’s right for me.

So, on a positive note, I’m moving along, and no longer stuck in a stale-mate. I know there will be harder days than others, so I need to thrive on positivity! Even though I was so down last night, how ironic of me! But it is now yet another day!

My cat spilled water all over my cell phone, my bodies aching, yet, I’m still in a good mood. If I was on my meds, I don’t think I’d be in a good mood. Now that to me is some positivity.

God is listening to me and Jesus is keeping his compassion with me. I couldn’t be in a better place for this journey I’m on right now.