horses

Amazing

I had the most glorious day yesterday, as well as today. I have finally come to a very big decision. When my teenager graduates in a few years, I am moving to Montana. I have my brothers who have purchased a large amount of land, and also are finishing up, their custom house. It is so beautiful there. I want the nature.

In their area, dear do not run away, they observe you. Many elk roam the area. Horses are free range and friendly! Just the other day, my brothers had to stop in the road, because the horses wanted to observe them, and came up to the car!!! I figured, that that’s how I want to live. Open and free! Surrounded by the most beautiful scenery.

Another amazing thing happened yesterday! I received a letter from a very special person in my life! In this letter were some beautifully encouraging words, and the most amazing rosary she made for me! That so lifted my spirits! I wasn’t really sad at the time, but when I received this, I was elated! I had the biggest smile on my face, and wished I could just reach out and give her the biggest hug and thanks!

I am feeling so positive! It’s been awhile since I have been so happy. Montana was where I was wanted, but I couldn’t make my mind up on what to do! My husband was so happy when he heard my decision. We have cabin fever. This is the area where I will be!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, I don’t know about you, but I want to embrace the nature that is being offered to me! If I could go right now, I would. However, I do want my daughter to be able to graduate with all the classmates she grew up with! More setup is being completed on the land! To finish, I am doing great with managing my pain with positivity. I am still limited, but I can’t wait to have a cup of coffee in the morning, on a deck, surrounded by nature!

Wishlist

I’m on a pearl Jam kick right now, probably because, I think my daughter still has my CDs! This is another beautifully written song. Sit back and enjoy, it’s very peaceful! Good Night All!

 

What It Means To Me

My site here at WordPress, is my personal therapist. I have shared things, without hesitation, because I feel freedom!  An ability to say how I feel, share my heart, and mostly, seeing how many beautiful people this world holds.

WordPress Logo

WordPress Logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My site is called backwards222, because I get very unorganized. My mind rarely shuts off, so random thoughts just keep popping up. So it is really a mixture of all my thoughts as they randomly appear. So I consider my site backwards.

I receive many warm thoughts, laughter, caring and sharing, for opening my heart, and letting it all go. You can never have too much love in your life. Even suffering pain will not keep me from my happy place, WordPress. When people say they wish they could somehow help me, I think to myself, they are, just because they care.

I may have limitations physically, but my heart and faith, keeps me moving along the best I can. My friends, and I do mean friends, even if we never actually met physically, keep my soul afire. I thank you all.

I have a video of Journey performing live, Wheel In The Sky, it’s a lovely piece, so I hope you watch and enjoy this. And once again, thank you, my dear friends!

Gallery

Wonderful

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I must admit I’ve had the most wonderful day today! Mustered up energy, wasn’t too hard to do, and helped with my beautiful Elliana! My Daughter lives in the apartment above me. I had lots of activity walking up and … Continue reading

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Meaningful Me

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Alone, I sit and think of nice things. Comforting moments and beautiful people. Emotions of happiness this does bring.   I’m at peace foe awhile. Emotions are flowing. Brings to my face, a shining bright smile.   I hope that … Continue reading

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My Angel

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My beautiful little angel, Elliana Kay Anderson! A job well done by my Beautiful daughter, Danielle, and cherished, son-in-law, Allan! Related articles Sunday, A is for Angel… (todayithink.wordpress.com)

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My Easter Grandchild!

Okay folks, please meet my first grandchild, born yesterday, on Easter Sunday! I’m so happy to introduce Elliana Kay!

I’m so in love!

My Progress 3

This is really good. I am so excited, because I used not one pain pill yesterday. I was really worried about the night time, because I was hurting really bad. But, I got through it, and was very happy. I do still take my Lyrica 3 times a day, but it is non-narcotic!

I’m still experiencing pain, but I’m just barely tolerating it with the Lyrica. I had a All my medsheadache today, and even refused to take ibuprofen. Ibuprofen does a number on my kidneys, and as stated in earlier posts, I have chronic kidney disease. I’m also experiencing feeling like I’m coming down with a bad cold. Nothing to mask the symptoms anymore. And now, I will walk around feeling as if I’m coming down with the flu. I’m not, but besides the pain, I always feel sick. Lastly, I am so tired. I’ve been getting normal hours of sleep, and am glad that I wake up earlier than noon!

My family, here at home, just does not identify with what I’m going through. It hurts my feelings really bad. I have this amazing goal, but I don’t think they understand that I’m still adjusting. I’m too young to become an addict. Pain pills for many, lead to abuse and dependence. Then they are faced with having to go through methadone treatment. No, not me. Not gonna happen. However, Even though I followed my prescribed treatment, I will am and having withdrawl symptoms. That is why I have not stopped taking my Lyrica yet. My family at HOME doesn’t understand. Hopefully, they will notice changes that are happening, and not going away! If they don’t adjust themselves, I just don’t know what to say to that. To end this, I pray and hope that tonight is as good as yesterday! Love you all!

My Progress 2

Great morning, and afternoon! Last night I had to take 1 pill at 3am. The Pain in my legs was too great to be able to sleep with. Not bad. Out of 5 pills daily, I’m down to one. I’m still taking my Lyrica. I’m sure that is a huge help. But I woke up great, and at 9am, not noon!!! I always hated sleeping so late. 9 is good for me. The only real frustration I’ve had today is my laptop! Nothing ever works right for me, and it’s such a waste of time then!

So today I had visitors, with donuts! Yum! I put mine to the side. I really eat during the day. My coffee is my life source, and it keeps me full, not to mention, more awake! Going without coffee for a whole 2 weeks was my torture! No coffee, and pain! Not a good situation for me!

Today, I finally had my musical Saturday! It’s been many,many months since I’ve listened to my CD‘s! Started with Foo Fighters :  Greatest Hits! LOVE! Then it was NIN : With Teeth, next NIN : Pretty Hate Machine. One of My favorite CD from NIN! Happiness! Embracing my music let’s my emotions flow ! It feels so good! It is a great therapy for me! I’m just in such a good mood, with pain, but I have my coffee, music and laptop! What more could I need?

With Teeth by Nine Inch Nails (2005)

With Teeth by Nine Inch Nails (2005) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I hope the rest of the day will go as well. And, to clarify, I do suffer with the pain, and tasks are extremely painful, but at least I’m not taking a narcotic for relief. I have been taking Ibuprofen, but because I have Chronic Kidney Disease, I’ll really have to give that up too! Very hard on the kidneys! I am really happy about my self-control, and progress. I know my doctor wouldn’t have allowed me to go about weaning myself of these narcotics. Doc would have been so much slower. As far as I’m concerned, I know my body better than any body! Even my sweet Doctor. My husband has seen the inside of my body during an emergency C-Section! And when I crushed my hand in an envelope machine! I see blood dripping on the floor, and never looked at my hand because I knew I would panic. So he seen the bones in my right hand, and fingers split open!

My husband thinks he knows my body better than me, because of all the surgeries and illnesses I had! He’s so good though. After my hand injury, while waiting for paramedics, everyone got a look at my hand. My husband told me not to look. He knew I would freak out. I didn’t look at my hand until after the second or third surgery. It’s still crippled. I had the best hand Doctor in the U.S. at The University of Chicago. Because it was a crushing injury, they healed it pretty good, but they could only go so far. Then it was physical therapy.

I am going to finally conclude this blog, I don’t want to bore you too much! I send good wishes and health to you all! Find at least one thing to appreciate about your day! Today is listening to music! Saturday television sucks! Peace and Love, All!

 

Daily Medication

Another Day_ My Progress

Today was a pretty decent day. I’ve cut very,very much on how much pain prescription medicine. Like by at least 2/3′s. That’s a major jump, and I’m still sane, and not letting the pain win. Now of course at times I have to take my meds, I’ve just really lowered the dosage. I now take 1/3 of what I’m prescribed too. So far, so good. I’m really full of anxiety though.

I’m afraid that I will have a severe flare-up. I’ve been moving about and going out a lot more. I still cannot walk a far distance though. So much pain, that there’s no way to relieve it. Even on the full dose of meds, I can’t walk far, or stand too long. That kinda gets to me. I have a wheelchair that I can push along, till I can no longer take the pain. However, someone has to push me because my arms would barely last!

On a positive note, that has not happened. And, I hope and pray, everyday, that I can learn to manage with my pain and no pain meds. See, the problem with my pain killers, is they are ADDICTIVE! Many people, abuse their prescriptions, and gets a body used to that dose. They run out, before they can refill again, and out here, if they’re any bit suspicious about abuse, you are RED-Flagged everywhere. I know many people who have to turn to methadone clinics, because of their addiction.

I am a good patient. I follow the directions prescribed to me, and would be too paranoid not to. I have a lot of meds, I don’t want a deadly cocktail. I’m wondering if my Doctor will be surprised when I don’t refill those prescriptions on the due date. I’m sure she’ll call, and I’ll have to tell her I’m weaning of the pain pills, and doing things my way. Doctor’s take to long to wean you off SLOWLY…too slow for me. The fire department paramedics are 50 feet away from my building. If something happens, I could be dragged across the parking lot! A bit of humor! Hey, they can throw me in my wheelchair, and wheel me over! That would be quite the humorous story in my small town!

I need to keep up my spirits, attitude, positivity, strength, hope and faith. For real now, I’m a proud expecting Nonna! Any day now, my daughter and her husband, our whole family, is ready for our baby Anderson! I think it’s a girl *wink*! But, we have to wait and see. I’m hoping this weekend! So, what I am doing has a whole important purpose. I want to enjoy my life with my family. I’m gonna steal that baby, as much as I can!*Warning to my prego daughter and son-in-law. Oh, they live in the apartment upstairs from mine! How sweet and convenient is that?

That’s my progress so far, and I hope I can keep blogging my progress getting even better!Here is a video that makes me feel good! Foo Fighters: These Days