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Wonderful

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I must admit I’ve had the most wonderful day today! Mustered up energy, wasn’t too hard to do, and helped with my beautiful Elliana! My Daughter lives in the apartment above me. I had lots of activity walking up and … Continue reading

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Exciting

I'm a WreckI’m at a new milestone in my life, a new chapter, and it’s pretty exciting! With the birth of my grandchild, and being able to be close to and with my daughter, it’s been an adrenaline rush!

Last night, when I got home from my daughters place around 9:30p.m., my blood glucose had dropped to 74. Not deadly, but in need of immediate attention, because, once you start dropping, the decline is fast. I was just shaking trying to get off the phone with updates, I could barely hold the phone. I alway’s tend to push my self to the breaking point, and I don’t know why I can’t discipline myself. Ate, was exhausted, and went to bed, shaking as if I drank a pot of coffee. I couldn’t fall asleep until about 3a.m..

Today was quiet, I was sore with a flare-up, and just oh so tired. I swear if you got a look at me, you would have thought I had just given birth! Just as I laid down to take a nap, my daughter needed me. It was 1:30, and I wanted to take a nap, before my teenage daughter came home for school. Mommy duty….up I went to assist my beautiful daughter. She too, was so extremely exhausted, and very much-needed to rest. I gave my daughter some child-rearing tips and eased her mind.

It did not seem that long, but I was just dripping sweat, literally, like crying. I kept brushing my forehead off, and was having double-vision, was almost going out. My daughter woke up, with a fresh burst of energy. She seen me, and knew I wasn’t doing too well. I didn’t know if her place was just too warm, it always is, or if my blood glucose was crashing. I asked her to get me a blood glucose meter, and she couldn’t find it easily. Then I just said, “Just bring me a glass of juice, it will help me either way. I downed 8 ounces of Grape Juicy-Juice in 15 seconds.

Daughter was good, Mom was bad, so I went home to rest. I napped for a couple of hours and woke up at 7:00 p.m.. Now was the time for the computer to update my progress. I have found so many people through Facebook and WordPress, that are so great and caring. Every one, unique in their own ways! I adore creativeness, and pass this to my children. My oldest is a Graphic Designer for a printing company. My youngest, just absolutely blows me away, with the pictures she makes. If I ever get another tattoo, it will be a small piece of her artwork. Seriously, she’s that good. I should have her older sister scan her pictures for me, so I can upload quality images.

I actually have the television on. Cleve, from Monster Man, just came on. I love watching him, he’s awesome! Their family is so funny, just like most of our own. It’s recording, so I can continue, even though it’s going to distract me. They’re doing work for Dreamworks on this episode! My daughter is familiar with someone from Dreamworks, pretty cool.

Nice hot shower and soak tonight, and hoping to really be able to sleep through the night. Bless all of my followers! It is so compelling to have so many friends from different countries and cultures. Can’t forget all my friends I grew up with, who I socialize with on Facebook. I’ve been a little neglectful to Facebook. I just love my WordPress, writing, sharing, and finding very meaningful people to me. Facebook does not give me that privilege. So, I post all my stuff on Facebook. No I don’t want to create a Facebook page. WordPress consumes me!

Elliana Kay 2

Smiling

Yesterday, I got to hold my precious little grandchild, Elliana! It was the most beautiful thing ever, besides holding my own babies, even now. My husband said I couldn’t stop smiling. I will say this, even when he seems inattentive, my husband always loves to watch me smiling ever so happily.

Poor Danni was so overwhelmed with visits. She was absolutely exhausted! I told her she HAD to sleep and REST! It was okay for Elliana to be with the awesome nurses at the hospital, which as a mother, I observed very closely! I was very scrutinizing, without them knowing, and they passed my test. Elliana was in great hands, and I let Danni know that it was okay.

They should be coming home today, so if I am not posting on my regular schedule, it is because I’m there for my daughter, and family. I swear I didn’t want to let that baby go. On the drive home, with my daughter’s husband, I apologized if I had hogged the baby from visitors. He replied, “No, you are very much deserving of that before anyone else!”. I’m telling you, My daughter picked a great one, and I completely trust his care with my daughter. Well, he is family, a very welcomed addition! We love you Allan!

So, please forgive me, if I do not get to my responses right away, I’m on cloud nine right now, and have baby on the brain!!!

Elliana Kay, with mommy!

WHAT??!!!!!! Okay, All Better

I’m sitting here right now, wide awake, thinking of my daughter and son-in-law, and my beautiful grandchild. Shannon stayed home from school, to be able to go see her niece. Fine about that, however, they are doing random inspections of apartments. I don’t know about you, but I must be here. I don’t like people entering my home, when no one is here. I don’t want someone looking in my dresser drawers, or cabinets. It’s nobody’s business.

We all had a late night last night. I’m sure my husband was up all night as usual. Well, here I sit, the only one awake, but I can’t leave. I just told everybody it’s time to get up. Of course, no one is listening to me. On top of that, they are angry, because I am being relentless. Why MOM? Duh!!! Get the F^ck up, already. I am so sick of this. I have to be responsible for everything? NO!!!!!

I’m supposed to be happy that my daughter had a healthy baby and her health is good. But at this time, I’m feeling quite angry! Things need to be done, and taken care of. If you want to stay up all night, then do your chores then. If you don’t, I’m going to wake your ass up. And the real good part is no one listens, until I get mean! Why does that have to be? Do they think I’m some kind of pushover?

Hey! I’m back to my draft! Everybody’s up, chores are done, and now we’re getting along. We can focus on our new blessing, and take care of their cat upstairs. What I do not understand is, why I have to be mean and demanding, to get cooperation? It must mean that when I go into Mother mode, they either get up, or listen to me bitch…..hahahahahahaha. It works, but I hate it! I like to stay in a good mood!

Now I’m just hoping I can speak with my daughter over the phone. Every time I call, she is with the baby, or nurse, and info comes from daddy. Then he can’t talk because he’s a big part in taking care of Elliana Kay! Right now I’m just wondering if I’m gonna call baby by her full name, or Elli. Full names usually mean you’re in trouble. Sometimes I even call my husband by his full name. He then calls me by my full name….too funny!

Either way, I’m in a great mood now, and that’s a great thing! Love you all! Thanks for all the attention for Elliana Kay! I’m a proud Nonna!

Me,Myself & I

Me, Myself & I

Me,Myself & I

At this time, I actually feel pretty good. I’ve been up for a couple of hours, and actually been feeling quite awake! Amazing, right? Last night, well, I was pretty depressed.
I miss my parents incredibly! They live a couple states over. I only get to see them occasionally. I do not have the expenses to see my family. My parents have supported me, unarguably, well maybe a couple of disagreements! They love me unconditionally and care a great deal about my health.
Usually, I’ve been avoiding the phone, because I’m kind of focused on trying to better myself. Yesterday night, I had to call. Revealed to my parents what I was up to, and how my body and emotions were doing. Eventually I broke down into tears, because I miss them so much. I’m going to be 45 and still need my parents emotional care. I’m their baby, youngest of four. I was the surprise gift from God. Well, also my brother’s are twins, so that was a surprise when she gave birth!
Talking with my parents, really helped me cry it out. The one’s I can always cry to, and receive, warm compassion. I felt a little funny last night, when my teenager was watching me cry, because I just want my mom and dad. Responding to me sweet as ever, she looked at me and said, “You’re not a cry baby because you want your mom and dad.” And my husband was very understanding, also.
So today, emotionally, I feel a little lighter. Physically…..well let’s see how the day progresses.
At this time, I actually feel pretty good. I’ve been up for a couple of hours, and actually been feeling quite awake! Amazing, right? Last night, well, I was pretty depressed.
I miss my parents incredibly! They live a couple states over. I only get to see them occasionally. I do not have the expenses to see my family. My parents have supported me, unarguably, well maybe a couple disagreements! They love me unconditionally and care a great deal about my health.
Usually, I’ve been avoiding the phone, because I’m kind of focused on trying to better myself. Yesterday night, I had to call. Revealed to my parents what I was up to, and how my body and emotions were doing. Eventually I broke down into tears, because I miss them so much. I’m going to be 45 and still need my parents emotional care. I’m their baby, youngest of four. I was the surprise gift from God. Well, also my brother’s are twins, so that was a surprise when she gave birth!
Talking with my parents, really helped me cry it out. The one’s I can always cry to, and receive, warm compassion. I felt a little funny last night, when my teenager was watching me cry, because I just want my mom and dad. Responding to me sweet as ever, she looked at me and said, “You’re not a cry baby because you want your mom and dad.” And my husband was very understanding, also.
So today, emotionally, I feel a little lighter. Physically…..well let’s see how the day progresses…………..

What If?

I want to be accepted,

My quirks,and dreams and all.

I’ve mostly felt rejected,

For things I’ve done and saw.

If your Karma’s good,so should be life.

I think I’m nice and kind, a small dash of mean.

I though I had good Karma, Yet my life is filled with strife.

All I’ve ever wanted was kindness to live my dream.

It hasn’t been all been bad things,

I’ve accomplished things to be proud,

But sometimes the sadness of lost feelings,

Puts my head in the greyest of clouds.

Right now I am a Mother,

And also I’m a Wife.

Right now I am responsible,

And this defines my life.

Sometimes I wish to be a Martyr,

And go back into time,

And live life so much smarter,

And keep my desires mine.

Treating good guys better,

Ridding men who were bad,

Then I would not fretter,

Of the good guys I made sad.

Sometimes I do wonder,

What if I had stayed?

With the man who loved me,

For who I was that day.

If I would have did that,

Things that are, wouldn’t be,

And then life would be different,

As well as things I see.

To all the one’s who loved me,

My heart is still with you.

I’m glad your family is happy,

My love to that is true.

I love my darling girls,

And my Husband too,

If I did things different,

I wouldn’t have all of you!