For 8yrs now, I’ve been overcome by debilitating ailments, rendering myself disabled. Suffering with depression all my life, these ailments really set me on a downward spiral, to now include severe anxiety attacks!
All my life, I’ve been a person who took pride in doing the best job I could, no matter what the status of that job was. Is was a real blow to my happiness to have to depend on others, and feel like a burden, for all the simple things I took for granted. I WAS THE CARETAKER! WHAT HAPPENED TO ME? WHY? I went as far to work 8 mos. as a Nursing assistant, while two ribs were broke, not cracked, actually broke and seperated. Of course at that time, I just bit the bullet, while my Doctors and I was unaware my ribs were broke.
I was slowly getting worse. I had to spend more time in bed, had to resign from my job, couldn’t keep up with the housework, and wasn’t able to provide my family with home cooked meals on a regular basis. I was an emotional mess. I was not only damaged physically, but emotionally also. My oldest Daughter, and her boyfriend, now my irreplaceable Son-In-Law, took very good care of me. As much as they could, while working and pursuing degrees. I would go to my Psychologist, and she would always ask me what made me happy. I couldn’t do the things that made me happy anymore.
Writing! Writing would truly make me happy. I was always into poetry and such, so I thought, now is my time to write a novel. If for anything, at least an accomplishment I could be proud of. I didn’t have a PC, so it was old-school, pen and paper. I wrote 53 pages, and kind of fell away, like writer’s-block. I wrote a lot of poetry, but it was so dark, because I still was suffering from severe depression. Feeling unworthy, useless.
I had marriage problems, and lived in this very old, falling apart, farm house in the middle of nowhere. I had to get away. I was not going to get better in that house! So, with the help of my Daughter, and now Son-In-Law, I moved to a nice quiet apartment with my youngest daughter, Shannon! In town! I was in my glory, getting a fresh start! Eventually, I let my husband move in with me 3 mos. later. He needed to get away from that oppressive house, also.
So here I am, with a laptop, and all my ailments, with a new attitude. I had to focus on being positive. Training my mind to see all the great gifts that most of us take for granted. Then I stumbled into WordPress. I thought to myself, ‘Perfect, I can now write, anything I want, and hopefully inspire others’! And here I am, just tickled pink, that I can write what my heart desire’s!
I’m so glad to have found WordPress, and plan to purchase my domain! It keeps me positive, and I hope the people who read my blogs get a little something positive from them and keep trucking on through this wonderful life, even though it doesn’t always feel wonderful! 🙂