Testimony

prayer..

prayer.. (Photo credit: aronki)

As you can see, I am on the net. Whoo- Hoo! Don’t have much time, so I have to share a poem based on my true story. It is written simply, no scholarly attempt to complicate the message I have for all. I Hope you all feel this in your hearts!

 

                                                                       TESTIMONY

Words spoken to my ears,

Bringing anger, sadness and torrential tears.

Anger burst, my heart, was now pierced,

A blow most shattering, cruel and fierce.

Blades and pills ran amuck in my mood,

The devil telling me my worth was no good.

Painful tugs in hearts and souls,

Hurtful words to break my goal.

I prayed, my Lord, To forgive my urge,

I prayed to Jesus, to help me purge.

Lonely, unwanted, the darkest of time,

The Devil still clinging so hard to my mind.

A knock at the door, I welcomed in desperation,

A kind Christian heart to explain my salvation.

The Lord had spoken, for him to come to me,

My God heard my prayers, thus lifting me.

The Devil was gone, he had lost his fight,

My Savior made known his presence that night.

Surrounding my heart, came the calm, so deep,

The Lord had granted me unburdened  sleep.

 

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I’m Not Sad

A tear rolls down my cheek

I’m not sad

No more my life feels bleak.

Many comforts engulf my mind

I’m not sad

True love is hard to find.

I found that love emotion

I’m not sad

It spills upon me like the ocean.

Worlds I have found amiss

I’m not sad

I’m submerged in bliss.

Many great things I explore

I’m not sad

My mind wraps around my core.

I’ve hit a milestone incredibly

I’m not sad

I’m happy for it idebtedly!

Vows at Peace…..

So much angst and sorrow soaked in my soul.

Every tear that streamed was torrid desperation.

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, no choice but to stay.

Discreet hurt perpetrated every day life.

Most times, the mask worn to camouflage the grief.

Undernourished from the truths I desired.

Solitary manifestation hidden by laughter and smiles.

Children confused by disguised dysfunction.

Silence of truth, false expectations, meandering.

Self distortion, deprivation, obscured induction.

God, faith, hope, cradled my heart.

Image by Dick Lowthian

Self identity proclaimed.

Pragmatic thoughts have learned precision.

Tiny seed of love, bloomed to magnificence.

Tears, miraculously turned into abundant smiles.

Turbulence eased, thoughts soft and compassionate.

God has saved us from stagnant feelings.

God has given us grace and hope.

We overcame and united.

Many years of unrest and yearning,

Cast out to the virulent hopes of Satan.

Finally we are virtuous and elated,

For the eminent path that lies ahead,

Oh, thank you Lord, for the majestic guidance.

JMD

I’ve Forgiven

Many things in my life have happened, that filled me with rage. I carried this rage along with me everywhere I went. I didn’t show it, but I felt it! Irritation, impatience, judging, insecure, vulnerable, weak. Weak? Yes, even if you’re filled with rage, it is just a sign of your weakness.

I’ve had a few moments I’m not proud of. Actually, they left me feeling very embarrassed. You can’t turn back time. I felt justified, I just didn’t feel I handled certain situations in a correct manner. I always felt guarded and under attack. My reaction? Be prepared to fight back.

Now, I don’t know what happened. I grew older, wiser, had children to set a better example for? I don’t know, but my attitude completely changed, and I didn’t have such outbursts. Occasionally, I would have marital outbursts, when I believed I wasn’t being heard by my spouse. Those did absolutely no good at all. I just seemed like a guard dog.

I’ve always have been a Christian. I prayed occasionally, and I knew that Jesus Christ was my Savior. But what I was missing, was a relationship with Christ. My relationship started when I was becoming very sick (physically), and emotionally. Life was getting unbearable, and I could no longer fight back. I physically felt like a piece of paper that someone crumpled up and threw in a wastebasket. Seriously, the crumpled paper was a great representation, of how my body felt.

Jesus was always there. I prayed for mercy, and forgiveness, and worked daily to repent. I also had to REALLY forgive some people, that did some really horrible things. I knew I couldn’t fake forgiveness, the Lord would know. So I dug down deep in my soul, and truly forgave all that I felt hurt me really bad.

After that step, I really felt that my prayers could be heard. I am a living testament to the power of the Lord to answer prayers. Now, My body isn’t better, but I have learned to tolerate and enjoy the things that I do have. My cup is never half empty, but always half full! I do not judge, it is not my place. I have opinions, but no true judgement. Just forgiving and not judging, have lifted such a huge weight on my shoulder’s.

I’m at peace. When I’m not, I pray, and get my peace back. I have to give my Daughter Danielle, and her Husband, my Son-in-Law, credit for giving me great guidance! And compassion, understanding, and very much LOVE. I thank you two. I know I keep saying it, But I’m so proud of where you are in life Danielle. I know I helped get you there, but then encouraged me to find peace.

May God bless you all!