Starting Change

So, since I have ranted about being sick of taking pain pills, I’ve started weening myself off! YAY! Now, I’ve had people comment, ‘Don’t stop taking them, it’ll kill you’! My thoughts? I’m not taking one pain pill, till I can’t stand the pain. If that means I’ve cut them out almost 75%, than so be it. I figure that only God knows when it’s my time to go.

I have pain now, but just taking a pill is only putting a band-aid on. Actually, its more like ingesting poison. I want my life back dammit, I’m taking it back, and right now I’m keeping really strong!

I know when people comment about there worries of me not taking my medication, it is because they have a genuine concern. But, I’m like a Hippie. That is just nonsense to me. I know my body, and how it feels. I’m just stubborn that way. Say what you will, but I know what’s right for me.

So, on a positive note, I’m moving along, and no longer stuck in a stale-mate. I know there will be harder days than others, so I need to thrive on positivity! Even though I was so down last night, how ironic of me! But it is now yet another day!

My cat spilled water all over my cell phone, my bodies aching, yet, I’m still in a good mood. If I was on my meds, I don’t think I’d be in a good mood. Now that to me is some positivity.

God is listening to me and Jesus is keeping his compassion with me. I couldn’t be in a better place for this journey I’m on right now.



Bold and strong, yet sometimes weak,

Happy, sad, and sometimes bleak,

Feelings in me come and go,

With every one, it makes me grow,

Sometimes days get really crappy,

Anger creeps in really slow,

Then my time gets really happy,

And to my anger, I say ‘NO’!,

Anger’s such an evil thing,

Don’t ever let it take you over,

If you do, you’ll become mean,

Find that evil and give it closure,

Thinking good thoughts, is so much nicer,

Many will come close to you,

Shed that cocoon and become a chrysler,

Grab your happiness and don’t be blue,

For those of you who cannot find,

The happiness you left behind,

Think of things with meaning to you,

You’ll find that happiness by being true.